


waiting near, waiting here

by iavenge



Series: my echo is the only voice coming back (Romanogers Movies AU) [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Les Misérables AU, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7333285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iavenge/pseuds/iavenge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Trying to be poor, now?” She knows he’s doing this to win the battle. A smirk, nonetheless, blossoms on her face, “I know your grandfather is rich."</p><p>“I like the way you always tease,” he counters back with a charming smile before leaving the compound.</p><p>[Les Misérables AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	waiting near, waiting here

**Author's Note:**

> i am back with another movie AU (technically, a musical, but this is solely based on the movie, not the books). note that this writing style is slightly different to what i've been doing these past couple of months, but i hope you'll still enjoy it c:
> 
> be sure to check my [writing blog](http://71letters.tumblr.com) for more ;)

Of course it’s Sharon.

It has always been Sharon. Blonde, perfect, beautiful, soft-hearted Sharon who was taken under the wing of Peggy Carter.

She should have seen it coming. She's Natasha Romanoff, the outcast. The girl who lived all her life in the slums.

The sidekick. The friend? She does not even know if he trusts her. She's delusional, she decides.

“Trying to be poor, now?” She knows he’s doing this to win the battle. A smirk, nonetheless, blossoms on her face, “I know your grandfather is rich."

“I like the way you always tease,” he counters back with a charming smile before leaving the compound.

_Little he knows, little he sees._

She knows Steve deserves better than her. But she had hopes that he'll see past through her murky background and be a dream she could obtain. Because no one has ever made her feel like she matters. Like she has a place in this world not just to be Natasha, the poor girl with parents as thieves (trained her to be one too), but Natasha just as a girl who is as human as everyone else.

But now, she knows that hope is gone too. Sometimes, she wonders why she's so self-destructive; finding him Sharon's location just to watch them profess their undying love to each other as she stands in the shadows, watching him like the sun. Wonders why she stays silent so Steve can have time with her in the beautiful garden of her house, a house too nice she can never afford. Wonders why she lets herself get a beating in order to save Sharon’s house from being robbed by her very own father.

She knows deep down though, that she cares for him. Someone once told her that loving someone means putting their happiness before hers. She just didn't think it would hurt this much. The realization hits her hard enough. She doesn't even notice the rain pouring down.

xxx

She remembers the look on his face when he sees Sharon for the first time. The wonderment, the astonishment. She secretly wishes he looks at her that way.

_“Nat, who was she?”_

_“Got you all excited now, aren’t we? Maybe I’ll-”_

_He started taking out his money as if that will make her spill. As if the only way she would help him is if he pays her. She wanted to be angry, wanted to strangle him. Hurt, hurt. She’s hurt._

_“I don’t want your money, sir.”_

_He looked at her, then, astonished that she would help him even without a price. She thinks she’s a fool for his eyes._

She wishes Sharon knows the lucky one is her. The letter Sharon wrote to Steve is heavy on her hand. 

Xxx

The barricades are up. There's no time for romance. If she is going to die, it’s going to be for a cause.

She disguises herself as a boy, pushes all her feelings away and focuses on the mission. She forces herself to not think about how he probably is spending his last night with Sharon, whispering endearments in her ear as he pulls her close. She doesn't want to think of anything but her mind seems to think otherwise.

She watches the sun rise.

xxx

He is looking the other way when a sneaky soldier decides to aim the rifle at him. Clint, she notes, shouts warnings at Steve to look out.

But he is so lost in battle that he forgets his own safety. She has never been good staying in place so she forces her feet to move despite how weary she is.

She knows this is it, but somehow she is not scared anymore as she moves the rifle to herself instead. Doesn’t feel anything as the bullet pierces through her skin. 

She hears him shout, though. Hears him move the torch and threaten to burn down the barricade unless the soldiers back off. She imagines him with his eyes wild, but she can't bring herself to hope he cares that much for her.

“Nat?!”, he runs to her side. She realizes her cap has fallen somewhere and her red tresses are everywhere, “What are you doing here?!”

Whatever happens next, she never expects him to hold her in his arms. She thinks she might be dreaming from the pain, but she'll take what she can get. He assures her through the haze that he's here with her. And that's when she knows he's doing this out of his own will, not out of pity.

He doesn't need her, she knows, so she takes out the yellowing envelope from her pocket and hands it to him.

“This is from Sharon,” he looks at her, "I’m sorry I kept it from you."

She doesn't expect him to set that aside and focuses his attention on her however. She hopes he knows what she wants to convey in the hushed murmur of the after battle.

“Nat...” he croaked out, seeing so much red gushing out of her chest.

"I'm fine, Steve." _You're here. That's all I've ever wanted._

"Help is coming. You're not leaving me too."

"I don't need help." She smiled ruefully at him. "I'm okay. It’s okay, Steve."

He shook his head, “It’s not. It’s not, it’s not," she can't prepare herself for how his voice cracked when he says, "Don't leave me.”

“Steve,” she coaxes him to look at her and she tries her best to give him another smile, “Do you hate me?"

“You’ve always saved my life, even now,” he chuckles albeit sadly, “You know I’ve always trusted you.”

No, she doesn’t. It’s the first time she hears that and she feels like she's floating, like nothing else is anchoring her in this world except for his warmth. He needs to know, she thinks.

“I knew Sharon way back when we were kids. We sat on the same swings once,” she smirks, “She’s nice.”

She makes him smile at that and she thinks of how she’ll never get a view like this ever again. Her energy's draining, eyes lowering but she forces herself to reach a hand to cup his face. She knows he's seen so many deaths in his life and she doesn't want him to have no proper closure with hers. Maybe she doesn't mean that much to him but if she could at least put a balm to his pain right now, she hopes he’ll accept it even if all he wanted right now is probably Sharon. 

She wants to laugh at the universe, at the stars for giving her the one thing she has dreamed of only for a split of a second before taking her away. She wants to tell him how she remembers watching him the first time she went to his room. How she remembers seeing a book with a tall man at its cover and knowing for sure he’ll never fall for a girl like her. That he belongs with a girl who is sugary and nice, not fiery and dark. But she knows she can’t burden him with her feelings. It doesn’t matter. “Be careful out there. No one’s going to be watching your six anymore."

She brushes the stray tear donning his cheek and smiles. Happy, carefree, if not for a tinge of bitterness knowing he'll never love her even in her death. She watches him move his mouth. She hears him no longer, but she likes to think he's asking her to stay.

When she closes her eyes and the world melts away, she swears she feels a brush of his lips on her forehead and wonders if he knows that she has loved him with all that she has even if it might never be enough.

xxx 

_“And you know, Steve Rogers,” she whispers as if it was a little secret she has never told anyone but the stars, “I believe I was a little in love with you.”_


End file.
